In this post we will be looking at Causes of Divorce in Early Marriages and How hard you should try before getting a divorce.
INTRODUCTION
Lack of commitment, financial challenges, and infidelity are some of the leading causes of divorce in the world. But your age and culture may change it all. Relationship survival usually requires a blend of open communication, intimacy, and empathy. When any of these characteristics are missing or start to fade, the romantic bond between two people may weaken. Couples may decide to divorce for many reasons. From incompatibility of lifestyles to dishonest behavior. However, researchers have found that some reasons for divorce seem to be more common across cultures and generations. The top reasons for divorce have fluctuated over the years and vary by country, often heavily influenced by cultural beliefs and practices.
CAUSES OF DIVORCE IN EARLY MARRIAGES
couples usually divorce in the first seven years of marriage. So, what year of marriage is divorcing most common? It is said that marital satisfaction increases as the couple moves towards their 10th anniversary. If you think you know why people get divorced or how many marriages end in divorce, you might not be wrong, but there are certain reasons to get a divorce that you could never have guessed. Let’s look at the most common reasons for divorce and understand whether or not your marriage is salvageable.
- Infidelity or an extramarital affair: When one person goes outside of the relationship to get their needs met, whether it is physical or sexual, this can doom a relationship. It is very difficult to get trust back once a partner feels betrayed. Extra-marital affairs are responsible for the 20-40% breakdown of most marriages and end in divorce. This is one of the most common causes of divorce. The reasons why people cheat isn’t as cut and dry as our anger may lead us to believe. Anger and resentment are common underlying reasons for cheating, along with differences in sexual appetite and lack of emotional intimacy.
- Trouble with finances: Money makes people funny, or so the saying goes, and it’s true. If a couple is not on the same page about how the finances are going to be handled, it can lead to terrible problems. Why is divorce so common due to financial incompatibility? According to divorce statistics, a “final straw” reason for divorce is a lack of compatibility in the financial arena and causes almost 41% of divorce. Everything from different spending habits and financial goals to one spouse making considerably more money than the other, causing a power struggle can strain a marriage to the breaking point. Also, differences in how much money each partner brings into the marriage can also lead to power plays between a couple. “Money really touches everything. It impacts people’s lives,” said Emmet Burns, brand marketing director for SunTrust. Clearly, money and stress do seem to go hand in hand for many couples. Financial troubles can be categorized as one of the biggest causes of divorce, following infidelity, the number one reason for divorce.
- Lack of communication: Communication is crucial in marriage and not being able to communicate effectively quickly leads to resentment and frustration for both, impacting all aspects of a marriage. On the other hand, good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. When two people are sharing a life together, they must be able to talk about what they need and be able to understand and try to meet the needs of their partner. Yelling at your spouse, not talking enough throughout the day, making nasty comments to express yourself are all unhealthy methods of communication that need to be ditched in a marriage. Besides, when couples stop talking to each other, they can feel isolated and lonely and stop caring about one another altogether. This can lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Poor communication is one of the biggest reasons for 65% of divorces. Practicing mindful communication to change age-old marriage mistakes can be hard, but it’s well worth the effort to improve and save your relationship.
- Constant arguing: From bickering about chores to arguing about the kids; incessant arguing kills many relationships. Couples who seem to keep having the same argument over again often do so because they feel they’re not being heard or appreciated. Many find it hard to see the other person’s point of view, which leads to a lot of arguments without ever coming to a resolution. This can ultimately be a cause of divorce for 57.7% of couples.
- Weight gain: It may seem awfully superficial or unfair, but weight gain is one of the main reasons for divorce. It may seem odd, but weight gain is also one of the leading causes of divorce. In some cases, a significant amount of weight gain causes the other spouse to become less physically attracted while for others, weight gain takes a toll on their self-esteem, which trickles into issues with intimacy and can even become a cause of divorce.
- Unrealistic expectations: It’s easy to go into a marriage with lofty expectations, expecting your spouse and the marriage to live up to your image of what they should be. These expectations can put a lot of strain on the other person, leaving you feeling let down and setting your spouse up for failure. Wrong expectation setting can become one of the reasons for divorce.
- Lack of intimacy: Not feeling connected to your partner can quickly ruin a marriage because it leaves couples feeling as though they’re living with a stranger or more like roommates than spouses. This can be from a lack of physical or emotional intimacy and isn’t always about sex. If you are constantly giving your spouse the cold shoulder, know that it can become the ground for divorce over time. Often couples struggle with different sex drives and different sexual appetites. This can really plague a couple as they try to get their needs met. In addition, at different stages of life, our sexual needs can change, which can lead to feelings of confusion and rejection. Ignoring your partner’s sexual needs is being called the number one cause of divorce in recent times. Making your relationship intimate and special is the responsibility of both partners. Practice little acts of kindness, appreciation, and enjoy physical intimacy as much as possible to sweeten your relationship.
- Lack of equality: Lack of equality comes closely behind the number one cause of divorce, lack of intimacy, in recent times. When one partner feels that they take on more responsibility in the marriage, it can alter their view of the other person and lead to resentment. Resentment often snowballs to become one of the reasons for divorce. It is a leading cause of divorce. Every couple must negotiate through their own and unique set of challenges and find their own way of living together as two equals who enjoy a respectful, harmonious, and joyful relationship.
- Not being prepared for marriage: A surprising number of 75.0% of couples of all ages have blamed not being prepared for married life for the demise of their relationship. Divorce rates are highest among couples in their 20s. Lack of preparation is one of the most common reasons for divorce. Almost half the divorces occur in the first 10 years of marriage, especially between the fourth and eighth anniversary.
- Physical and emotional abuse: Physical or emotional abuse is a sad reality for some couples and contributes to 23.5% of divorces. It doesn’t always stem from the abuser being a “bad” person; deep emotional issues are usually to blame. Regardless of the reason, no one should tolerate abuse, and must remove yourself from the relationship safely is important.
- Lack of family support: If your family doesn’t agree with your marriage or your partner, the rift you feel may contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, as well as a sense of grief for the lost connections. Your family may exclude your partner, put them down, or encourage you to “keep your options open.” Both you and your partner may find this pressure difficult to manage, which could cause you to consider divorce as an option.
- Religious differences: “If you and your partner have different values, it can be tough to find common ground,” says Ogle. If your partner ridicules or demeans your religion early in the relationship, or tries to convert you away despite your expressed disinterest, it may be an indicator of future conflict.
HOW HARD YOU SHOULD TRY BEFORE GETTING A DIVORCE.
- A couple can only heal a relationship and avoid divorce if both parties are willing to work on the relationship and communicate effectively
- Where there’s mutual love, even if complicated by reconcilable differences and communication barriers, marriage can be salvaged.
- Couples therapy can help couples learn communication skills, learn how to express their feelings to one another, express their needs, and rebuild their friendship.
- Safety is a priority when it comes to saving a relationship. When physical, emotional, and mental health are in jeopardy in marriage, separation or divorce may be the best option.
Conclusion
Infidelity, arguing, infertility, and lack of commitment are some of the top reasons for divorce in the world. There’s usually more than one cause of divorce, though. Most divorce reasons are preventable, though, when both partners are in love and willing to spend time and energy in solving the differences.